Halong Bay, Part 1

I did just write all this, on a proper computer, but the stupid Vietnamese computer decided it didn't like it, and deleted the whole bloody thing. I'm fuming, I'd been writing for like an hour.
So you guys have to get the iPod version, which probably won't be as good I'm afraid, but it probably will be shorter, meaning you can go back to work sooner (good news for all you dissertation writers!). The only good thing is that Lion King has just been put on, so at least I'm smiling (and mouthing every word and lyric as i go) which means it'll be a happier blog than had it would have been!

We left for Halong Bay about 8.30. We should have been picked up just Before 8 but our hotel staff, as lovely and helpful as they were, sent our bus away to pick up the others as they thought we were eating breakfast, rarer than calling us and making us miss out. Lovely gesture, but it meant Lucy and I were last on, meaning we had to sit on the crappy fold out chairs in the middle aisle (not sure why I said Middle, it was a minibus not a...place with many aisles...Church! That will do) which were so uncomfortable. Basically a seat, with a bar and cloth to support your back...not that I had the luxury of a back support, the girl sat behind me had her legs in the way (she was German...nuff said there). The journey itself, well the road was as potholed as the A38 in Gloucester, and the suspension in the bus was shot to pieces. Added with the erratic driving of everyone on the road, it was like being in one of those simulator arcade rides.
The country side was cool to look at, even of it did get a little repetitive a miles and miles (or Kilometre after kilometre, as it is here) of paddy fields, and not much else. The landscape was awesome, not that you could see much cos of the overcast weather. Also dotted all over were little Gravesite, containing anywhere between just one and tens of graves - all shaped like crypts, none big enough to actually hold a body.
After 3 long Hours (which was broken up by Monopoly and Game of Life) we arrived at the Harbour. We were picked up by a little taxi boat (which crashed into the side of the harbour, the driver (I know it's a boat just go with it) clearly forgetting the harbour side was stepped when putting tyres at the top of the boat, not the bottom where it crashed) and taken to our boat...not the boat we were promised I hasten to add, but we've come to expect such things out here. The fact it was a boat was a start.
And it wasn't an awful boat I suppose. Lunch, whilst very Vietnamese was quite nice, especially considered the kitchen it was prepared in. We met 2 guys from the Wirral at lunch and they provided much conversation entertainment over the day. After lunch and after we had Been shown our room (which was nice considering it was the size of my box room at home) we were taken to a cave. The cave itself was awesome, carved by the water leaving some spectacular grooves and shapes, much like Cheddar, but without the health and safety and other regulations. What was not quite so good was the tour guides. Not that they gave much information, but also they were pointing out bales that really weren't there. In Cheddar, the Witch looks like a Witch. In Halong Bay they tried to claim a lump of rock, which looks like a lump of rock, was Buddha. They tried to claim a tall pillar of rock, which looked like a tall pillar of rock, was Buddha's mother (or wife, depending on the guide-they had a fair amount of artistic license after all). They tried to claim a bit of rock sticking out of the cave was the 'famous Happy Finger' even though everyone agreed it was the absolutely the most perfect Erect Penis anyone had ever seen.
On the way out, the path took you to an opening high in the Cave, which looked out into the bay. Halong Bay is amazing, but the weather really let it down. It was still awesome but it would have been stunning had the sun been shining, allowing us to actually see more than the 5 islands closest to us which the fog and drizzle allowed us (funny it was the closest I've felt to being home for a while).

After the cave we went to a little floating Hamlet. As we went round the Bay we realised there were quite a few of these little hamlets, all having houses, supplies and fishing equipment (and in many, either a dog or cat, which is kinda cruel baring in mind these were about the size of 2 badminton courts and only pieced together by planks). This was where we collected our Kayaks (not that we'd won a competition-as cool as that would be we'd never get the budgets home) in which we were allowed to "enjoy and explore halong bay for ourselves" - for 30mins. Not that you can get far in 30 mins! Lucy and I were determined though and actually covered quite a lot of ground in that small half an hour, so much so I'm thinking of trying us out for the Olympics. We managed to see a few other caves (which was cool to go in and see, as they were so small) as well as watch a magnificent looking hawk soar and dive for food.

Back on the boat, after a shower/anothercaseofhavinganoldmanpissingonyou we were treated to dinner, again surprisingly nice - I was even brave enough to try eating the muscles and fish, which was presented to us whole. And then mid-meal...you guessed it, Karaoke time! No one actually selected songs, they Vietnamese hosts just played sons and trusted microphones into anyone's face that looked up. It was kinda fun to be fair, especially watching the two Wirral boys sing a beautiful love song to one another. The Karaoke finishes around 9 and the staff went to bed, some in the bar/eating area where we all still were. Not that that bothered us, we proceeded to play cards - a Thai game called Ching Chong (I'm not racist, that's honestly what the girl called it) and a massive 15 man (and girl) game of Sh*thead, which was a good laugh!
Bed time, think that's a good place to stop for this bit. Part 2 to follow....